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If asked to name my favourite cities I don’t even have to think about the answer: London (history at every turn), Paris (amazing architecture and parks), Fez (the most complete medieval city in the Arab world) and...er...Sheffield. Yes. Sheffield! Some of our readers will perhaps have hit a mental wall at this point so I will, briefly, explain...

My job moved to Sheffield and I, rather reluctantly, moved with it assuming I’d be there for the shortest possible time before returning to my native Dorset. But Sheffield exerted an inexorable grip. Already at that time being transformed from a post industrial wasteland Sheffield had everything: major concerts, big sporting events, a brilliant World cinema, galleries and museums aplenty; added to these a canal terminus for walking, also easy access to the peak district, York, etc, etc, while the first tracks of the Supertram were being laid down to complement the existing excellent bus and rail network (a real eye opener I can tell you!). Equally important the people proved friendlier than I could possibly imagine, no journey into town complete without conversation with complete strangers. Oh yes, I nearly forgot. Sheffield also possesses some of the finest real ale pubs in the country. Consequently I ended up staying not one but four years. (Hic!)

Eventually returning to Dorset to marry Rachel she and I have returned to Steel City as often as possible, though not as often as we would like. My mistake was to enthuse about such visits as CAMRA meetings, which was to prove my eventual undoing. Some years after my initial rash promise of playing tour guide, much delayed by spending time on the wrong side of a bar - from a drinking point of view at least, I foolishly mentioned to our Branch Chair that I would be available from date X, earlier this year. Within an hour I had booked every room at the Hillsborough Hotel and was beginning to panic. I needn’t have worried...

On my last visit to the Hillsborough Hotel evening meals had been scrapped, so considering those who need food before imbibing three or four cars hurtled towards a lunchtime appointment at The Victoria at Beeston, near Nottingham. I’d chosen this on the recommendation of one of the staff (One night whilst working at The Porterhouse said soul gave me the low down whilst sinking as much 49er as he could before being driven back up to his adoptive home). As we have all set out at different times from different start points I was not unduly surprised to find some of our party deep into pints and partaking of rather splendid looking lunches, which I am assured by Dawn are ‘excellent’; a fact that I was soon to corroborate. As for the beer sampled both York Stonewall and the Castle Rock Hemlock seemed in good condition, and as the Victoria always has a Mild and Stout or Porter available I was tempted to the Vale Black Beauty Porter. My appreciative comments did not go down too well with Dark beer aficionado Rachel, our driver for the trip, and all too soon it was time to move on. Verdict: fast, efficient and friendly service from the predominately young staff, great food and great beer. As we left I eyed the poster for the Victoria’s upcoming Beer Fest with a suppressed sob; its many rooms and large marquee making it an ideal venue for such an event. No wonder it was voted Nottingham CAMRA Pub of the Year in 2005! Located next to the local train station this is a pub that should not be missed if in the area. But now its time to start The Tour proper...

Somehow we all arrive at our destination at pretty much the same time. Unfortunately the Hillsborough isn’t due to open for another 15 minutes or so I take the opportunity to lead our happy band towards the New Barrack Tavern, the most northerly pub on our reconnaissance trip. Mindful of people wanting to book into the Hillsborough I take the most direct route (which I’ve never taken before) so that they can find their way back. Thus it is that our now not so happy band finds themselves negotiating an overgrown muddy path in the rain, whilst avoiding traffic from a dual carriageway at rush hour. Whoops! Sorry folks! Fortunately spirits are soon restored on arrival. Amongst the beers on offer in this roomy two room establishment are Acorn Barnsley Bitter, Mighty Oak Celestial Navigation and Burton Bridge Mild. Rachel gets her revenge by demanding a pint of Fullers London Porter, easily the most expensive pint all weekend at £2.80. There are more than a few shocked faces amongst our party at the other prices - which are all pretty much in the £1.70-£1.90 price range. (Yes, read that again). A quick survey of the group reveals beer of a very high standard, at a price that places our favoured locals less favoured than they were an hour ago.

We then all make our way to the Hillsborough Hotel. Rachel and I first visited here in 2001 whilst returning from Orkney (covered in a Purbeck Pint), and we were lucky to be invited to see the fledgling Crown Brewery in action. Hillsborough IPA and Stannington Stout were then added to the Porterhouse guest list on a regular basis as a result of subsequent visits. Sadly, the Crown Brewer had left just before our arrival (I hope not through fear of the southern horde!) but Wellington beers are still being brewed on site. Amongst the beers initially on offer here over the weekend are Phoenix Shamrock, Salamander Vestal Virgin, Wellington Heidi Ho and Durham Amarillo White. Added to this are clean comfortable rooms, a friendly atmosphere and a rather splendid conservatory, hence making this our base camp. Plus I used to live in literally the next road - truly a home from home...

After settling in tis time to move on to the Cask & Cutler, its unprepossessing exterior do nothing to prepare you for the riches to be found within. This two room local (next to Shalesmoor tram stop) is a real gem with a deserved reputation for good beer. Tonight beers available include Acorn Darkness, Durham White Gold, Hydes Heavenly Draft and Cottage Between The Posts (the C&C seems quite keen on Cottage as I recall). Pretty much all of the pubs we visit this week also have a good selection of foreign beers but the Cask’s is exceptional. On a previous visit Roger, Olympian legend extraordinaire, was seen crying into his Penguin after discovering a small supply of Westvleteren 12! My charges all seem to be having a good time and I start to relax. At least until Dawn informs me that I am authoring this little diary. I beat a hasty retreat to the Hillsborough, and let things get a bit hazy until the Bell from Hell. Come morning I’ve forgotten about this article. So, dear reader, do please forgive me for any errors of omission - or magically transporting beers between pubs!

The following morning is bright and sunny, a stark and telling contrast to the dutifully assembled battle weary. As its early I decide to get a breath of fresh air, visiting old haunts in Walkley and Crooks. The view over the Rivelin Valley from a previous abode is particularly impressive. Unfortunately, as Dawn points out, which ever direction I lead it’s always uphill. So by the time we get to see said view we are all hot, dehydrated and puffed out. Returning by a different route we pass an old local (and now GBG Regular) the Cobden View, but sadly tis too early for this and my fave offie, The Dram Shop, to have opened their doors. Never mind, its soon time for my fave Saturday lunch stop in the entire world: The Fat Cat. The two rooms and drinking corridor served by a single bar, a family room upstairs and pleasant beer garden, which is a little larger now that the Kelham Island Brewery has moved into a purpose built building next door, offers a warm welcome. The food is always fab, and the beer in excellent condition and often surprising. I had my first ever Palmers here!

The Fat Cat has sold some 6,000 beers to date but when here I always plump for Kelham Island Bitter, a hoppy 3.8% session beer that not only gets me over the previous night but puts me in the mood for more. The other K.I. beers on during our visit were Pride Of Sheffield and White Rider, whilst other beers tempting us included Holden’s Black Country Bitter, Derby Heritage and Salamander Warlock. I could happily stay here all day but this is supposed to be a guided introduction to Sheffield’s real ale pubs so after a good lunch and a few pints its time to move on.

When I used to live in Sheffield the Kelham Island Tavern was a half derelict place that my housemate and I would walk past en route to the Fat Cat, which is literally round the corner. On a trip back in 2002 we were directed there, much to our bemusement and subsequent delight, by other publicans. So it turned into the place to move on to when the Fat Cat shuts. Now the Fat Cat is open all day Saturday but The Tour takes priority. The KI Tavern seems to expand both beer range and size every time I visit. From small (but perfectly formed) beginnings it now has a very impressive beer range, a bit of a sun trap and an array of awards from City Pub Of The Year to Best In Bloom. Today’s range includes Black Country Pig On The Wall, Kelburn Dark Moor, Hob Ferret, Pictish Mistral, Vale Black Swan Dark Mild and Northumberland Sleekburn Stout. Needless to say we are in no hurry to move on! But eventually we do...

It’s quite a contrast moving from Sheffield’s old industrial heartland and into the City Centre. Robin looks particularly shell shocked at the hordes of unhappy shoppers wasting their Saturday.

Fortunately, we soon leave them behind for a pit stop at the Old Queen’s Head, as recommended by Graham. I couldn’t picture it before, which is a bit daft as its half timbered exterior sticks out like a sore thumb next to the Bus Station, and I’ve walked past it thousands of times. The interior seems split between an olde worlde restaurant and a more modern bar given over to football. To be fair it is Saturday afternoon. The Thwaite’s Dark Mild is acceptable enough but we move quickly on to our next port of call, obviously not having seen the pub at its best. This is borne out by the fact that it won local Pub Of The Month not too long after. Our destination is the Rutland Arms, always a fave food stop before visiting the Showroom Cinema. Attractively tiled and boasting an award winning beer garden it is clear that the Rutland has been busy - the only beers available are Deuchers IPA, Black Sheep and Greene King Abbot. I’m not complaining: there are many regions where this would seem an Aladdin’s cave - the interior certainly resembles one! Tis nice to be back!

We then move on to the Devonshire Cat, a new glass fronted student venue that I’ve only visited a couple of times. The prices remind me why. Still, the bottle store is pretty amazing and Rachel is pleased to find a bottle of one fave Kelpie, a dark seaweed beer. I stick to Abbeydale Moonshine. We’ve missed out on an old regular, the Fog & Parrot; Reckless (5%) being my preferred tipple rather than Roger & Out at 12.5%. The former has not been brewed for some time but I’d heard that Greene King had recently taken on the pub and suspended all brewing. Dan, in a spirit of adventure, dared its portals to discover that they still had a guest beer policy - hurrah! Meanwhile, Dusty catches up with us, having been in Scarborough all day. Though we are all obviously now unintelligible to him he is more confused by stopping a complete stranger to ask where the Devonshire Cat is. The response being Don’t I know your father? especially when it turns out that he does!

We have now moved on to an old regular the Bath Hotel, which is listed in the CAMRA National Inventory. A sort of S.S.S.I. for drinkers. Over recent years its two rooms, cozy fire and drinking corridor have suffered garish colour schemes and changes of regular beers but it now seems to have settled down nicely. Acorn Barnsley and Abbeydale Moonshine are good enough for me. Its then time to move on to the Red Deer and I’m glad Dusty has caught us up: I can’t remember its precise location! Whoops! But it proves worth finding for Timothy Taylor Landlord (which runs out when we arrive - and pints replaced without asking), Adnams Explorer, Wells Bombardier, Banks Bitter and Black Sheep. Here the tour is effectively at an end, some heading off for a sighted chippie (which closes at 5pm or thereabouts!), some of us head back to the New Barrack Tavern for food and beer, others to the Hillsborough.

The following day we sadly leave the Hillsborough (which has since changed hands and not suffered for it), but head for a lunch stop at the Olde Trip To Jerusalem in Nottingham. A regular tourist haunt but worth seeing its rock hewn rooms carved out of the Castle cliff face. Personally I am grateful for the half a gallon of Kimberley Mild given that as I write this Hardys & Hansons are now in the hands of Greene King. I suppose all things must end and, thankfully for our livers, here is where our trip finally ends (no pun intended).
Melvyn